Dividing up money and belongings when you separate

When you separate, you’ll need to think about how to divide your money and belongings.

Two of the biggest decisions you’re likely to make are what to do with your home and how to divide up any pensions - if you have them.

Try to give yourselves time before making a decision. It’s a lot easier to reach an agreement if you and your ex-partner are ready to talk.

You can make an agreement between yourselves, but it’s normally a good idea to talk to a solicitor once you’ve decided what you want to do.

You can find a family law solicitor on the Resolution website.

It’s important that you’re honest about your finances. If you’re not honest and your ex-partner later finds out you tried to hide something, they could go to court and ask for more money from you.

If your ex-partner normally handles the money

If you can, go through your finances together. If this isn’t possible, ask your ex-partner if they’ll go to mediation with you.

Mediation’s a cost-effective way of trying to solve differences over money and property. You’ll both have to fill in a financial disclosure form when you go to mediation. This shows how much money you’ve got going out and coming in and it's a good starting point for discussions.

You’ll normally need to show that you’ve tried mediation before you apply to court. There are exceptions that mean you don’t have to try mediation first - for example, if you’ve experienced domestic abuse.

Check how mediation works.

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If you need to speak with someone about your partner being aggressive

If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should get help.

If you’re a woman affected by domestic abuse, you can call Refuge or Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 at any time. 

If you're a man affected by domestic abuse you can call Men's Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 between 10am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

If you’re unsure about what to do next, talk to an adviser.

Working out what to do with your home

What you do with your home depends on what you can both afford to do once you’re living separately, how much value (‘equity’) there is in the home and whether you have any children.

Your ex-partner might be able to continue paying the mortgage on your home, or at least pay something towards the repayments, after they move out.

However you’ll need to come to a more permanent agreement. It might be better to have a clean break, for example so that you and your ex-partner can rent or buy a home of your own.

You might be able to get help with your living costs when you separate from a partner. This could make the difference between being able to stay in the home and having to move out.

Read about benefits and help with council tax.

You might also be able to get financial support (also known as ‘spousal maintenance’) if you were married or in a civil partnership.

If you and your ex-partner have children, find out how you can get child maintenance.

If you want to stay in the home and buy your ex-partner out

You might be able to buy your ex-partner out so that you own the home by yourself. However, even if you can reach an agreement between yourselves about this, the mortgage company will want to know you can afford the mortgage payments on your own.

This can be very difficult if you don’t work, or you only work part-time because you look after the children.

If you can’t afford the mortgage payments, ask your mortgage company if they’ll let you switch the mortgage to interest-only. This should reduce your monthly payments.

You should ask your mortgage company if they’ll give you a mortgage in your own name. Even if they can, you might be able to get a better deal so you should speak to a mortgage or financial adviser. They might be able to recommend other things you can try.

If there’s no way you can buy your ex-partner out, you could try coming to another arrangement. For example, if you have children, you might be able to stay in the house with them until your youngest child is 18 or finishes secondary education. You can then sell the house.

This could be difficult to arrange so you should get legal advice. You can find a family law solicitor on the Resolution website.

If you want to sell your home

Talk this through with your ex-partner. It might make more sense for one of you to stay in the home if there isn’t much 'equity' in it. Equity is how much money is left from a sale after you’ve paid off your mortgage.

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If your home sells for £250,000 and you have a mortgage of £200,000 on it, the equity is £50,000. You'll probably have to pay other fees out of that £50,000, such as to solicitors and estate agents. These extra fees could be around 2-3% of the selling price so you could end up with less than £50,000. 

Talk to an estate agent if you want to get an idea of how much your home is worth. It’s a good idea to get 3 different valuations so you’ve got a range of sale prices to choose from. You should also check with your bank or building society to find out how much is left on your mortgage.

Once you know the equity, try to reach an agreement with your ex-partner about what you’re going to do. Then talk to a solicitor.

Working out how to divide up the equity between you is complicated and depends on a number of factors including:

• how much you both earn

• If you have any other money or property

• your needs and responsibilities, for example if you have children

• how long you’ve been married or in a civil partnership

• how much you’ve each contributed to the relationship - financially and emotionally

A solicitor will be able to tell you what you'll be entitled to if you sell your home.

Dividing up your pension

If you’re married or in a civil partnership, you might be entitled to a share of your ex-partner’s pension when you divorce or end your civil partnership.

You should try to reach an agreement between yourselves or attend mediation about what you want to do with a pension. Find out how to speak to a mediator.

It's best to first get advice from a family law solicitor. You might also need to speak to a financial adviser - find out how to get financial advice.

How you divide a pension can depend on how much the pension is worth. The most common way to share a pension is to move some of your ex-partner’s pension into a scheme of your own. This is known as ‘pension sharing’.

Pension sharing can only be done when a judge grants a ‘pension sharing order’ during your divorce or civil partnership dissolution.

Read more about what happens to pensions when you separate on GOV.UK’s Pensionwise website.

Solicitors can be very expensive. Prepare what you want to discuss before you speak to them to keep your sessions as short as possible.

Some solicitors offer an initial meeting for free or a fixed cost - use this time to find out as much as you can. You’re unlikely to get detailed advice but you should get an idea of how complicated your case is and roughly how much it’ll cost you.

You should ask your solicitor to give you a written estimate of how much your legal fees will be.

Dividing up other finances

To divide up everything else, make a list of the things you and your ex-partner own, including:

• personal belongings, for example furniture or jewellery

• cars

• money in bank accounts (joint accounts as well as your own)

• savings and investments

You don’t have to list all your belongings. It might be quicker just to include things over £500, or things you really want to keep.

You’ll also need to include any debts you have, like a bank overdraft, credit card debts or hire purchase agreement.

If your debts are shared, you’ll both be responsible for the whole amount - not just your half. This means if your ex-partner stops paying the debt off after you separate, you’ll have to settle the debt by yourself.

Even if you and your ex-partner are talking to each other, it’s a good idea to make sure you have a plan for paying off your shared debts. If you’re worried your ex-partner can’t or won’t pay, you should talk to a solicitor.

You can continue to use a joint bank account with your ex-partner after you separate, for example if you’re sharing childcare costs.

However it’s probably better to close the account and open separate ones to prevent any disagreements about money. You’ll both need to give your permission to close an account. If you don’t close the account your partner could access the funds or run up debts which will be your responsibility.

If your joint account is overdrawn you should freeze it - you don’t need your partner’s permission to do this. This will stop you or your ex-partner withdrawing money and building up more debt.

If you’re worried that doing this will upset your ex-partner, you should talk to an adviser at your nearest Citizens Advice first.

Deciding who owns something

There’s no easy way to decide who owns something from a relationship. You’ll need to sit down with your ex-partner and go through things one-by-one.

Try to agree as much as you can. If you have to go to court to decide who gets to keep something, you could easily end up spending more on solicitors’ fees than the item is worth.

It can help to write on your list how much you think each item is worth. That way, if one of you wants to keep a more expensive item, the other person could take a number of smaller items of the same value.

Decisions about furniture and white goods

If you’re trying to put a value on things like furniture or white goods, it’s a good idea to estimate their new value - rather than how much you could sell them for now.

A 10 year old sofa that you shared with your ex-partner might only be worth £100, but the cost of replacing it if you have to move into a new home would be a lot more.

What to do next